So be it !!

Is this the end of the moment
Or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be’
Or maybe be

Everything that I never thought could happen
Or ever come to pass and
I wonder if maybe, maybe I could be

All you ever dreamed ….

(~ Anywhere but here, SafetySuit)

This was just a beautiful unfolding of a chapter that was never meant to be, the mind in it’s place had known the consequences, the heart never cared. We often leave things to destiny, and Mr.Fate hadn’t arm twisted me in conceding this time. This wasn’t a mistake or a mess that had piled up, it was an extraordinary case of experiencing a bliss that would go on to bless my soul with sanity and a zeal to feel the magic of being in love again. No parting pleasantries, no potshots and no camouflaged smiles that would deceive the heart again, the mind now knocked hard; as it realized: love beckoned; having it won’t add to the charm; for the quest of being in love and feeling the same isn’t a function of winning over something.

The feelings aren’t rudderless, for I hadn’t felt anything as visceral; to love-to lose-to lose and to love again; love the same and still the same. No change in the equation, just a few iterations and this is it: this shall go on. No hurt, no pain; a thought lingering within as I now count my blessings. To have felt and to have touched, to have seen and to have been into and beyond the corridors of someone’s heart: to have been able to translate my notion of being in love into something real and to take away a feeling of being drowned and lost in the inconsequential surges of reality; the sweet little pang now feels worth every tragedy I had read. Perhaps, Dickens would now be at peace; for this had been a dream I had dreamt of living always.

There’s no fulfillment greater than being in love with someone you’ll never have for life, there’s no greater joy than to wake up with the hangover of unfulfilled desires that fuel the mind to love better. The heart no longer feels incapable of giving it all away, for now it has, the mind is now set on sailing itself into the galaxies of a parallel universe; both in tandem working towards segregating determination from desperation: To live, to love and to let go.

And, as the song played on the loop, I did realise and I did feel something which now forever shall stay. Well, I did have my share of heartbreaks, this one though was glorious. A redemption for the soul so to say, as I now have nothing to look beyond and forward to. All said and nothing done; the tragedy will now last a lifetime. Nothing in real it was, nothing surreal about it; just an absolute nothingness that holds everything in it’s ambit. The flight towards my parallel universe has finally taken off and so has my ambition in finding meaning to the lost labor of love; that would now remain something I’ll cherish for a lifetime. I did love, Yes I did, for it wasn’t just another tale of unrequited feelings coupled with grief and hurt at not being able to keep or have something. The pang now feels good, it keeps me in my senses as I take strides in striving towards loving the unlovable, and Yes, I shall love.

P.S: The parallel universe beckons, as the stars merely don’t conspire; they have collided this time. A big bang may be, a new universe all around. Yes, I will keep loving and Yes, I will write about it.