Spring’s here

“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.”

~ Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

And, Dickens has a quote for every emotion that I hold within, this one; from one of his classics that I so much love. There comes a stage in your life when things start adding up, the hits and the misses not making much of a sense, rather a bagful of knowledge to carry on with what seems right, and it is right. It is spring time, new twigs branching out and the chill diminishing, but then this is what the heart pines for: a bit of a misery in all things that reveal themselves to be good, the bad now not holding anything good.

She hadn’t left, the corridors of my mind still reverberate with the sounds of her laughter that I held so dear, I still do. A pole which holds firm the rope my life is holding onto, casting no dark shadow but bathed in her light, it’ll be dusk soon; until then I’d still bathe in whatever glow remains, the little pieces of her and the stuff She shared with me; pushing me forward, helping me wage my battle against the demons which are now surfacing back to life.

The summer is yet to arrive; the scorching Sun would be up. The summer in my heart though is now but a thing of the past, I feel no reluctance in owing up and admiring the burning sensation within. It has made me the person I am, moulded me into becoming the man I am today, not a better version I guess; but then, who needs validation when all that matters is the just the presence of one person deep within the core to calm and keep thing cool, to channelise the molten lava of my thoughts into words, into actions which make me what I am.

The shade, the light and the very source now within me, deep within me; manifesting it’s presence as and when required; the pain, the anxiety, the relief and the calm: all but her, fiddling away, making and breaking and recreating all that I have and hold.

It was in fact during one of those March days when the revelation happened, as if the Heaven’s had opened up it’s chest of Divine Knowledge, for me to realize and absorb: Her vision, the way I first saw that sight, dressed the same, still the same; the light and the cool shade still the same. The winds of change had started to blow, hot and cold; but the soul understood none of it; it never will for it had found refuge after it’s great escape. The cradle of her eyes, the warm breath and the cold embrace all making up whatever held me, but what did I hold on to? Her, the pieces of her, shredded by the swords of destiny and crushed by the galloping horses of fate, I’d still hold onto them.

Material-immaterial : all that I have for and to myself, staying put and staying calm in the face of all the chaos and calamities. This was beautiful, as beautiful as her and scenic as the spring time scenes of March. She branching out, She’s here and so is spring.

The Summer might melt me down, the Winter; chill and numb my senses, this Spring, the revelation will however stay, the vice-grip within is all her, holding, guarding and guiding me as I spring forward. Yes, Spring’s here, lifespring and it is She.