“Mind helping me out with an assignment?” She asked, I couldn’t say ‘No’ to her, She was keeping busy She said; the assignment was an important one and had to be submitted urgently. Although, I couldn’t write half as good as She could, I nonetheless tried. She, putting the trust in me was all that mattered, I believed I would do a satisfactory job; if not anything great.
I guessed what the assignment could be, perhaps some comprehension test; She had applied for this new job at a new location. I was happy for her, sad for myself; like one of those days when you have this mixed bag of feelings which feels a little heavy, but her growth mattered. She had put in all the hard work all these years, had been very competent and dedicated but sometimes this what being in small town does to you: it can tie you down, and who would have known this better than me.
We met later in the evening at our favourite bar, She looked excited perhaps camouflaging a couple of things. She seemed happy and excited, I could sense that in the voice; but, in her mind there were certain apprehensions too. New place, new workplace and a brand new assignment; all this while She was so much in love with the position She had here, She loved her job to bits but then change was necessary and inevitable too, She had to try and test new waters; more than her, I believed in her abilities; I still do. She had the creative bent of mind that mattered, She could write and phrase sentences beautifully and above all else She was an extremely hardworking woman. Everyone needs a bit of hand-holding initially and with the right kind of mentoring, I believed She could and would go far. But, there was also this tinge of heaviness within: She would be going away.
She had been smiling all the while, discussing about the perks the job had to offer; it took me some time to get all of that in my head; my mind was lost elsewhere, I was busy thinking of the time when we had first met to the numerous meeting we had over a year and a half, I had zoned out and her eyes were taking me on a different trip. I choked for a while, and went straight to the smoking zone pretending I had a call to make; I had to get out of it; I couldn’t let it show on my face; a cigarette did help.
“So, you all excited for the new role?”; I asked, as I came out, “What is the profile they are offering, and would you get to write?”; I enquired again. I didn’t remember that She had already mentioned about it a good thirty minutes ago, luckily for me; She didn’t assume too much. She went ahead answering me again.
We don’t miss people, we miss the moments we created; the tales we lived and if anything were to haunt me it would be the streets we walked upon and the pavements where we would stand and chat, I could visualize all of this; her chatter not making any sense then. The beer did feel colder than ever, her favourite sprouts almost left untouched; She would otherwise finish off a couple of plates with me helping her too. It was me coming to terms with what I’d be left with, I had known this for a long time but there are moments when you feeling like staying put and not accepting whatever life has to offer; life is real though. I had been sleepwalking all through my life; this was going to be a living nightmare.
“I hope they let you write”; I said, “If they don’t, please take up freelance assignments, but please keep writing”; I added. I knew what writing and expressing her thoughts meant to her, certain things can’t be valued by the perks they earn you or the money you make, it’s about the feel good factor attached to it, writing wasn’t just a job for her; it made her who She was. I hoped, She wouldn’t discontinue.
And, She did write; a long text and a blog; She did keep her word.
P.S: Jenny, you are meant to write better; human stories with a humane touch, remember? Don’t you dare forget that.
abhishek purkayastha 