Over Thinker – Over Thinking !!

It is an innate ability of the mind to convince itself into conceiving new thoughts, thoughts which then tend to dominate the rest of the proceedings, from creating intricate networks within to generating the stimuli that leads to action; inaction often. And, inaction in itself is the manifestation of too many thoughts rotting within the web of nothing but thoughts in themselves that haven’t forced their way out through to lead to an action.

All in all, it’s just another tendency of the mind to keep itself busy in doing what it does best; complicating the scene; often at times looking beyond and through everything that exists; sometimes non-existential stuff end up in dominating the domain of the mind. Hard it is, then to coerce the mind to force itself into not thinking, the mind knows for a fact that nothingness is a boon; but it is the bane of over thinking that seems more lucrative.
Over thinking in itself is inaction, disguised as a quick fix solution; wearing the cloak of multiple fixtures to help in aiding that one minuscule problem that often feels like a monster threatening the peace of the soul.

And, yes; I have been an over thinker; I still am, with the ability of think and think too much. The raging voice of criticism within that paralyses the ability to reason and see through the pros and cons of anything, this isn’t just anything but another self-destructive streak I have been blessed with. The chaos within that smogs up shutting every vent of logic; there happens to be just no reason then in sight. The wait gets longer as the burden of misery and guilt; and guilt for nothing piles up; choking up the space for the mind to somehow not loosen it’s grip.

There comes a point when situations seem to be under control, but thoughts?? They aren’t enslaved by logic and reason; the commotion that runs within never shows on the surface of the skin; the muscles underneath working tirelessly in faking their way to glory, this isn’t just hard; this is just another passing moment of relief; even though temporary.

The voices in the mind grow louder as the choices are restricted to the negative, the very existence of a way out through the mess seems delusional. Things pile up, so do thoughts; the chains of the bondage of the past coerce the mind into falling into a pit again and again. The relapse although isn’t anything but real, often setting in as it gets triggered by just anything. The glorious battle that wages within in, the mind knows it hasn’t loosened the grip but it does tend to get enslaved as the dominating impulses of the thoughts jeer it in into falling in that awful grave again. The will that seemed resurgent makes an escape into nothingness, frightening it is and so is the lack of control that seems to have evaded the scene of chaos; seeking refuge in the delusional arms of something which is all set to take control.

The residue of fault and guilt swamping up, the canoes of hope drowned in it without any trace. The sight isn’t pretty, the serenity of life missing amidst the chaos, a tinge of lingering hope the mind holdfasts onto. This will sink in, or I will; the dark hour beckons as the mind is stranded alone as it takes on the mighty forces of the all-conquering demons. Time might be a healer, for now the battle is against time, keeping pace with whatever comes along. The biggest hindrance of all is: I, myself; losing out.

Inaction again, the mind engaged in doing what is does best: complicating itself, as the network within grows, the monster is up in arms …