Let it rain..

The rains are here, flooding the gates of my memories; all that I can see, sense and feel around me is the sound of the showers, the wet drops of the heavenly tears on my face and a vision of her making up everything around me.

The last time it had rained in the city She were here, life wasn’t too different but we were awaiting a death to all that existed, it didn’t deter us though, for we had chosen to celebrate all that we had, all that we had created – good times, good tales and memories to hold on to for life. I had sent her a parcel of Thai food, I still remember. She was busy packing, She was leaving the city, I knew to myself then: all that existed would go away far, far away from me, all that I would hold on to would be her, shades of her: black, white and grey, all very dear to me. There hasn’t been a moment ever since, that I haven’t missed or remembered her, and as the skies now opened up, it brought her along, rained her down upon me.

She was busy sending me pictures of her luggage, She had stacked the books neatly, her clothes all arranged, She still had the sparkle in her eyes as She blinked and giggled, She did seem excited about leaving the place, She was faking it, I knew it and She knew it too; it is strange as to how we unassumingly do things assuming no one would get a hint as to what we hold within, She was being herself and who’d know her better than I did.

The skies had darkened then, it was about to rain and it did. The heavens weeping for it knew She would be leaving, I did shed a tear too, but it was a choice I had made, She knew it all along and I had seen it coming too, you can control and tame the mind, condition it into believing that things would turn out to be good, but fate? Who could ever control the outcome of what destiny had in store? The downpour now got heavy, the thunders resonating within the deepest core of my heart, shaking whatever was held, as I chose to hold ground and let out a smile.

“Did you receive the food parcel?”; I asked, She complained yet again that it was too much, but then; I knew it would be last time I was sending something to her, She would be away and gone and would be taking away something that had always been a delight: seeing her smile when the food arrived. All I could do was to capture the moment and freeze it, keep it safe within the locker that my heart had become, treasuring all that remained of her. The moments which would never come back to delight me, I would have to dig deep and pull out the pieces of her to calm the chaos that would run in me during her absence.

She sent me a video too, showing how dark it were, the rains that had started pouring down. All that I loved in one frame: the rains and She, and all that would never stay too. The sun would be out soon, burning and drying out all that She had made me see through her eyes, isn’t that what life is? The wait for the skies to darken again, for it to rain and for the land to turn fertile and signal the harvest. She would stay, She would rain and She would be the harvest of my mind.

And, as it rains again, I know She is at it again, tilling my heart and seeding it with her thoughts. She’s here and so are the rains..