There are times when you end up talking too much, speaking and blabbering out random stuff just to ignore the jitters you experience within, that rush of blood and that cold and numb feeling, and all on a sudden it feels as if all that isolation of self and thoughts has gone down the drain, as if there remains that minuscule bit of the feeling which you had nurtured, and now it nurtures you. Although, time and again you pull it from within to juxtapose it on the frame of actuality and get that reality check, but what if, if it surfaces up and comes across right infront you, looking and staring at you : right into your being and all that now remains.
Nothing remains, and everything still does, within that hidden compartment; still nurturing and tending to my thoughts, my existence: the last dream I dreamt, the nightmare I wake up to every morning. All real, very surreal but all so very out of reach. The irrational in the rationale, the very basis of my clarity and the foundation to my confusion. Well, at loss of words here, for it is too hard to comprehend something that has left the most indelible mark on my life.
The mind in it’s place can often coerce itself into reaching out to another of it’s kind, the variables of distance and space doesn’t hold good then, telepathy perhaps; it reaches out and makes a signal beep. I wasn’t convinced of this phenomena until it happened to me. It had been a long flight, the mind which was then occupied with thoughts of adventures that awaited me in a distant land had suddenly started juggling with thoughts of what I had seemingly left behind.
It is hard to comprehend, to realise and to even think of as to how we can reach out to what conspiracies the galaxies involve themselves in, one call and the very same voice that would brighten up my mornings had suddenly dawned upon the skies on my soul, it was a call: from the soul within, as if something had stirred it after long.
A voice, that would awaken my spirits, did the same this time again, it sent chills down my spine too. The voice still resonates within as I look up at the skies, near – far or wherever I might be, all within me it occupies the infinite that I so desperately seek every time I feel numbed by my surroundings.The heart fluttered, it pined at the same time, the sweet pang did make me feel alive; and as I write this; I realise how insignificant distance can be, that certain things can’t be devoured by destiny or the twist of fate.
The physical body can cross seven seas, you can find yourself in a different timezone but the mind knows no jetlag, it doesn’t suffer from one. The thought that remains the very cornerstone of all that is now existent and all that will forever be, a void that shall remain no matter how many seas are crossed.
While it is easy for the mind to camouflage the questions, the answers are just binary, a lot like life and love. The thoughts amalgamating into one, that very basis of all that was and would be.
To shrug off or to deal with it, to ignore or to live with it: will live, will deal and maybe I’ll write about it too, nothing precarious about the void in question; it’s my go-to zone; where I am me, where I am most vulnerable and where I can think and feed my mind’s rivulets. The waters haven’t dried out, the spring’s missing but the dark clouds are all over it, amid the encircling gloom !!
Another chapter to think about, to write about; time it is to take notes. The book of life is and will be about that one thought, the thought that holds me steady and rocks my soul each time it hits my mind’s embankment.
abhishek purkayastha 