“Play that song, Rajneesh”; I said, it was a long drive to Ladakh, and the numbing cold had already gotten the better of me. The song in question was ‘Pashmina’; a song I was hooked on to, every word of the lyrics resonating in my ears as I now pen this piece. The song had become an integral part of the journey we had then taken, ten months on it would become something I would connect to, even better. Who knew, I didn’t.
The foggy roads which led us onwards had taken us towards self discovery, towards letting go, towards finding peace within ourselves and with all that remained, who knew back then that I would be back to square one: still listening to the same old track, still on a voyage and still diving within to find that escape route which lead me onward, forward and towards something that I had never anticipated, but now I do: nothingness, a void within a void that now remains.
And, it will stay; until everything else ceases. The chasm within; the yells of the silence echoing something that for now guides me, and with the song playing in the background: I know to myself that there is this one connect that still remains, still as fresh and as pure as the pashmina. The song resonates, and it brings back a thousand memories, it brings Her back; as I stand still to soak Her all within me; allover again. The body might have parted, the soul still awaits it’s emancipation in Her. It’s time: time again to seek,to feel and to take the same old road; while the song keeps playing.
The connect with the song, the roads and the city remains, I had found myself here; lost my sanity here too. I had found my answers here, the city had posed questions too, the song had only played it’s part in reminding me of all that remained, all that I held and all I had lost, I haven’t forsaken any of it: neither the answers nor the tough questionnaire my life had thrown up, life lessons maybe; life perhaps.
The song, a city, the roads and my journey towards emancipation: now to Her, in Her and in Her light, all bathed and under it’s glow.
The song says it all, makes it all up.
मैं साया बनूँ, तेरे पीछे चलूँ, चलता रहूँ…
पश्मीना धागों के संग..
P.S: Ending lines from the song ‘Pashmina’, by Amit Trivedi.
abhishek purkayastha 