No tomorrow !!

2755 kilometres, the distance between the life I had and the choice I made, although the life I had then; now seems like a distant dream. I wake up to visions of what it were, what it used to be: to the voice of someone who would set the alarm bell ringing, and that hurried rush towards getting started for the day. As, I now take the stairs, and board the cab; I realise the sights have changed, for good, or for the worse, who knows?

It’s been half a year already, and to this day I long for the carefree life I once had, evenings these days are spent pondering upon what it could have been, with no answer resonating within; I prefer leaving it at that. Perhaps, there are grey areas in life which we end up acknowledging, I have to own up to mine. But then, there is this hidden bliss in romancing the ifs and the buts, the mind can get lost in probing the answers, with none in sight: the cycle goes on. No battles to fight with life, time and destiny, just an enormous void within, and the mind wrestling with notions of the what ifs.

I am far away, far; far way from what could have been something my heart desired, now it is a far cry from what I had then planned, but I were never a meticulous planner, a lame duck maybe; I simply paddled along with the waters; I didn’t dive. There lies no point lamenting now, something the mind agrees to but distance is such a cruel ally to have, gives you yet another ambiguity to deal with. There aren’t any fallacies here; but who would agree? not me, certainly not.

The big city life is yet to take it’s toll upon me, the blinding lights are yet to eat into my sense of vision, and the hustle all around is yet to shake the roots of my soul which still lies a couple of thousand kilometres away, stranded and engaged in battling with what it could really have been. With no answers, just nothing in sight: I know there lies something, somewhere in store, within me perhaps: a chest filled with treasures of the days bygone. The mind can go berserk, my ifs and buts are keeping me calm.

Time, distance and destiny are just functions of life, I’ll raise a toast to whatever else remains. That’s another evening’s story, tomorrow? Who wants it anyway?