Deterred – Undeterred !

“To him she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else’s heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

 
The above lines are from a masterpiece, an all-time favorite; little did I know that I would someday think of someone while flipping through the pages of the book.

She had tiptoed into the corridors of my heart, spreading her fragrance; wild it was and so abstract, much like her. She had drawn me into her spell of not giving away, and there lied the catch; I had to; probably I shall have to. But, for a moment; let me just pause and reflect. I will then have her, at least within the corridors which once used to be her playground. She wasn’t aware of the magic that she had weaved, I for once had no idea of it too; all along I had just known: and I had surrendered.

To me she seemed unparalleled, beyond anything and she made up almost everything that then existed, she still does. At least for now my thoughts draw their life blood from her presence that isn’t restricted just to the corridors, she occupies the infinite within me. I seek, she turns up and the words flow, from her onto her. A saving grace she had been, will be; my elixir.

She had maneuvered her way into my thoughts and nestled there; and somewhere in her presence I found the light I was looking for; her absence though slightly dim; the glow hasn’t diminished. She makes it up, often evoking laughter on my lips or as her memories form a few pearls on my eyes. She isn’t the one to be relinquished, she won’t be the one to be given up on; not the least in my thoughts. The thoughts though wouldn’t be insipid, for she would add her charm to the mind’s churning. The boat and the oar are all her’s, taking me across; an adventure awaits; awaits her and awaits me

The cruelty of life and fate often closes a few chapters; in her I found a new beginning to the end, a whole new dimension to add to her glory and my misery. Misery it is and it will be; for anything devoid of her is nothing short of it; but then again: she runs all through – in the vein and in my pain. A pain that just isn’t ordinary, for it reminds me of her and the spell she cast. She now flows within and without, carving her way through the words she carries underneath her wings, spreading them on the barren land of my mind and much like her fragrance: it is wild and abstract.

They say letting go is hard, in her I found liberation; the free will to cast her in her own words, to shape the wild untamable spirit that she used to be, holding on to her isn’t destined but enthralling my mind with her magic shall forever be. Forever shall I seek and find her in the corridors she once occupied, now locked and sealed: lest she would flee. Forever will she knock on the doors of my mind and spread her glitter the way it used to be. The sun would shine bright and bring her to me with it’s rays, the rains shall rain her down upon me, the wind would carry her scent all along and the earth would now make up the elements she held within her core. I would seek and I shall receive, this blessing shall forever be, if not in form; formless it will be.

P.S: The curtain shall never fall, as the mind now echoes; seeking to set her in words. The spell she cast in Marquez’s words: I’ll dare not destroy it.