This write up is about people like me, who have grown up alone, with no one except but for parents around them. It is about being a ‘Single Child’, the experience of being one, what comes with it, the pros and the cons; although, at this stage of my life and given the kind of pessimistic approach I have developed towards people and situations, I’ll rather write about why I don’t enjoy being a single child anymore.
Being the only kid in the family was fun while growing up, doting parents and I knew all the focus and attention was on me. I had the most liberal kind of upbringing so to say, from getting what I wanted (though I had to negotiate over them with my academic performance) to me going where I wanted to go. At that stage, I enjoyed every bit of the attention; the chocolate bar was mine, the toys were mine and I knew I wouldn’t have to tolerate someone else wearing the tee I loved. It was all mine for the taking, from the verandah to the corridors- whatever existed, I was the King.
Never had any issues like most people with siblings have, I used to hear my friends saying that perhaps their parents loved the other one a bit more. I never faced that crisis, my parents were all mine, totally devoted to me and they still are. But, that’s the child in me jotting the experience down. For now, I know that regardless of how much fun I might have had, there was something I missed out on, and perhaps I’ll miss it for a lifetime.
As a single child, I looked out for friends with whom I could be me, and now that my life is all screwed up I realize all most of them were just acquaintances I had. I wish, I had someone I could relate to genetically if not mentally. Someone who would be as responsible towards my parents as I feel I should be and someone who would make up for the deficiencies that I as a son have. As a child, my parents probably had assumed me to be the most perfect child they could have had, but with age catching up on them and on me as well, they at times fail to realize that I am as human as they are. It does feel empty and hollow within, for I know I lack that option of falling back on someone who would at least be genetically compatible. I feel lost, alone and without anyone; more than I have ever felt before, for I know I’ll have no one after my parents and my parents have no one beyond me, and this realization is stressful.
With age, a single child realizes the amount of pressure that he is under, for all the expectations are on him, from being the only one to uphold the name of the family to being the only one who would keep the gene alive. Parents tend being over obsessed and over indulgent, and having a way out seems difficult. From being the one who once had his own way in doing stuff, I no longer have the free hand in deciding my fate. The child who had the freedom to live life his own way has to live solely on what he thinks would keep his parents satisfied, there’s no ‘PLAN B’ and above all else I am the lone warrior; and, that is when I miss having a sibling the most. All the fun I had while growing up seems meaningless and all the attention that I had; I wish were divided.
P.S : This is my own take on how it sucks to be a single child, any contradiction will be highly appreciated. It might probably feel a little better if I get to know someone who feels it’s an absolute bliss to be a single child.
abhishek purkayastha 